Have you been like me and looked to find your worth reflected back from others? Have you sought approval in the words and actions of others? Have you tried to be what you thought others wanted, believing that your worth was found in what others think of you?
It’s a tough place to be, isn’t it, because what you sense from others really has nothing to do with you. It has everything to do with them and what is going on in their lives, how they are feeling, what they are preoccupied with, and a host of other variables, none of which has anything to do with you. Trying to feel good about yourself based on how others respond to you is like trying to keep your footing in shifting sand.
If you want to see your worth reflected back at you, look in the mirror and own who you are. You are a beautiful child of God. Feel your inner spirit respond as you look deep and recognize that you are much more than a body. You are a spiritual being experiencing life in a physical body. Within you is the true Love, the incredible creative power, the divine potential, and the gentle strength and truth that is God. How can you not be worthy as a beloved child of God?
I haven’t always recognized this. For a long time, I felt broken and less than others because of the challenges I faced in my life. I was used to working hard and succeeding at whatever I tried. Whether it was my studies or my career, I was used to doing well and being recognized in terms of excellence. Suddenly, or so it seemed, I became the target of emotional and verbal abuse and, within a very short time, one of the growing number of failed marriages and a single parent of two innocent children whose future, according to research, seemed destined to be fraught with all kinds of issues. I felt fractured, and yes, I made myself small, believing that somehow I had failed and that I was being judged by everyone around me. I didn’t realize that what felt like an ending was really the beginning of a journey toward finding and owning who I really am.
I also didn’t realize that my journey would take me into a situation where I would, once again, become the target for abusive, manipulative behavior and alcoholic rages. I almost allowed the situation to destroy me… almost… but beneath the heavy layers of pain and shame, an essential part of me still burned bright. It was who I really am — my soul, my spirit, my divine essence, whatever you want to call it. Under the darkness that mired me down, a tiny spark of strength and knowing still glowed. And so, I began the process of making yet another beginning in my life.
This time, I held my spiritual essence close and listened to my inner voice. As I listened and stepped into living life for me and what was healthy for me, that spark grew and became an ever-burning flame within me — a flame that sustained me and made me feel safe and secure. I had looked for recognition and love from others all my life, and now, I was experiencing love from within me. That love is always there. When I get still and go within, I enter into a space of pure, unconditional love. I feel my spiritual connection to God, and I know that I am not broken or less than anyone else. I am whole and completely loved. I am intrinsically worthy because I am a child of God… and so are you. We all are.
Step into the fullness of who you are as God’s own creation. If you prefer to think of your higher power, the Divine, the Universe, or Creator, you are still a divine spiritual being. Let the light of who you are burn brightly. Focus within and feel your inner spiritual self expand in the light of your recognition. The perfect beauty of you has always been there, just as it has always been there for me. I just didn’t know it was there. Now that I am found and I know who I am, my spirit is always there for me. It doesn’t clamor for attention; instead, it waits patiently for me to go within and then I am bathed in love, acceptance, and true knowing. And in that space, I know that I am worthy and I feel the love that flows within me. That love is God’s love… the only true love.
You and I are anything but small. Stand strong in who you are.