Do you feel like you are on the outside looking in? Does it seem like everyone else finds their place within the ebb and flow of life, but you just can’t seem to find yours? Do you yearn to find a place where it feels that you fit, but it seems that belonging is a state for everyone else but you? After years of feeling this way, I have come to two realizations which I share with you in the hope that either one or both can be of some assistance and reassurance to you.
We feel like we don’t belong when we search for validation of our worth from others and we don’t get it. We want to feel like we are “somebody,” and we look to others to make us feel valued. We try so hard to feel acceptance and recognition of our worth from others. We try to look a certain way, act a certain way, and have the right things to say… all so that we can find worth reflected back from the reactions and responses of others. As we look to others to help us feel worthy, we forget, or fail to realize, that finding and building self-worth is part of everyone’s journey and what everyone seeks. We are looking for affirmation of our worth from others who are seeking the same thing… and we wonder why we can’t find what we seek.
Our worth cannot be found in others. It cannot be found outside of ourselves. Self-worth comes from within. It comes from realizing the truth of who we are. We are God’s creations — manifestations of His Love. Within each of us is a part of God. That realization is amazing! How can we not be infinitely worthy as God’s children? We are a part of God. Because God is Love — Love beyond our comprehension and experience in this physical plane — we are also pure Love at the core of our beings.
Our struggle with self-worth originates from our identification with ego. Ego tells us that we are individuals as it draws our attention to our bodies. It constantly whispers messages of separation from all other individuals, and it is in this separation that we compare ourselves against others. We want to know that we measure up. This is our key error, and the reason for all self-doubts.
We are intrinsically worthy to God who loves us unconditionally. When we embrace this truth, we find and express our worth. We also recognize the worth in everyone else. We no longer need to feel the need to belong because we remember that we are all part of God’s family. We belong as brothers and sisters in spirit.
Another reason we feel like we don’t belong is because we really don’t. This sounds harsh, but I have come to realize the truth in accepting that I really don’t fit in life as it is lived by the majority of people on this planet. Feeling like we don’t belong is part of the reason we are here on Earth at this time. We find no meaning or fulfillment in the materialistic pursuits of society. Our pursuits are of a more spiritual nature. We yearn for spiritual connection, and we feel “at home” when we find others like us. I believe we have come to Earth at this time to bring more love into the world. We can’t find belonging in society’s status quo because we are harbingers of change and a return to remembering who we really are — spiritual beings who are expressions of God’s Love.
I have realized that I don’t want to feel like I belong in the hustle and bustle of living in the world as it is. I don’t want to “buy into” the commercialism and materialism that preoccupy the minds of so many. I don’t want to exist at a superficial level where the latest trends and acquisitions predominate my thoughts and conversations. I want to experience life at a much deeper level. I want to witness the glory and beauty of God’s Love in everyone I meet and in every place I go. I want to be a channel for God’s grace in this world and to help others remember who they really are as God’s children. I don’t want to belong in a world created by the fears and projections of ego. I choose unconditional belonging as a child of God. When this is what I choose, I know in the core of my being that we all equally belong as sons and daughters of God.
Do you feel like you don’t belong? Perhaps that feeling is trying to remind you of your true spiritual identity.