When you get an opportunity to have time to yourself, do you struggle with a seemingly endless list of things you think you should be doing? The number and range of shoulds that my mind can come up with amazes me, and I will bet that the same happens for most, if not all, of you. What is there about caring for, and spending time with, ourselves that sends our self-guilt into overdrive? Has our family and social conditioning been so effective that we believe that our first priority always has to be something or someone else? Or, are we avoiding the most important relationship in our lives — the one with ourselves?
I am working to recondition myself — to reprogram my impulse to leap up to do and be all the shoulds so that I pay attention to the inner call of what I need for me. All my life, I have put everyone and everything first, believing that I needed to be and do everything for everyone in order to be worthy. At long last, I have reached the point where I know my own worth and I realize the importance of honouring my true self.
Do you know what else I have realized? I am the source of all my shoulds. It is my perception that creates my experience, and if I perceive that I am obliged to fulfill my list of shoulds , that is what my experience will be. If I believe that I am expected to be everything to everyone, that is what I will perceive and experience.
Beyond being the source of the countless shoulds I have imposed on myself, I have used shoulds as an avoidance tactic. As long as I was busy, busy, busy with all my shoulds and have-tos, there wasn’t time to be with me, to get to know me, to embrace who I am, to learn to love me. That is an amazing revelation, and one that has opened as I have written this post. As I began writing today, I wasn’t aware of this. In fact, I thought this post was going to go in a different direction to focus on the need for self-care and time to do what moves and fulfills you.
As I realize that I was using shoulds and have-tos to avoid time with me, I’m not sure what I was so afraid of. Now that I have begun to take time for me, I realize that I like it. In fact, I crave it. More and more, I need it for my inner sense of balance and well-being. I need it to ground me and to connect with my inner essence.
I have come to know that my time for me connects me to what is real and meaningful. My time for me is fulfilling because it allows me to be still and to remember who I am. It allows me to get still, to go within, and to open into the quiet vastness of who I am as a spiritual being.
I invite you to join with me in releasing all shoulds and to taking time to get to know you, to be with you, to rest in the peace of knowing who you are. You and I are the only ones who impose shoulds on ourselves. It is okay for us just to be. We are loved just as we are because we exist, because Love created us, because we are God’s children.
It is when we stop and take time to be with ourselves that we re-ground ourselves and remember who we are. It is when we pause and take a break from all the shoulds that we can remember that which we are — eternal expressions of Divine Love. That is why we feel fulfilled and experience joy when we take the time to do this. We get in touch with who we are. We remember.
Honour your true self. You need time in the hectic hustle and bustle of this world to connect with that of which you are an integral part — Source, the Divine, God. It doesn’t matter what name you give it. You will know it when you touch it — when you reconnect with your inner being. Once you do, you will need to return again and again, for without it, you will feel lost.
Honour your one true need — to reconnect with who you are. Namaste, my spiritual sisters and brothers.