This is a question that I frequently ponder because it is certainly my tendency to default to making myself small instead of allowing myself to shine. I’m not talking about going on an ego trip and demanding the attention and admiration of others. I’m talking about my recurring insistence on making myself less than I am, my habit of shrinking in the face of appreciation and opportunity. Do you minimize or try to deflect any recognition of your brilliance from others? Do you yearn for opportunities to stretch yourself and then retreat when they present themselves?
Why do we make ourselves small? Caroline Myss talks about our inner saboteur in her book, Sacred Contracts. This archetype is a powerful and influential pattern in all of us; it is our work to recognize the energy of the saboteur in our lives and to use this awareness for self-empowerment. We can recognize its energy when we get in our own way, or as I like to refer to my own pattern: when I “shoot myself in the foot.” As we learn to recognize this negative energy, we can use it to enhance our awareness and open ourselves to the positive energy of appreciation and opportunity. As we open, growth is available to us, instead of the inevitable stagnation, frustration, and self-judgment that occurs when we realize that we have gotten in our own way… again.
My inner saboteur maintains a strong presence within me, but I am learning to recognize its energy, and instead of unconsciously succumbing to my pattern of minimizing myself and deflecting recognition of my worth, I am consciously choosing to stand in my own truth and knowing and to open to opportunities as they present themselves in my life. I have to say that I definitely haven’t achieved mastery yet… old habits are difficult to change… but I am more aware of my own tendency to retreat to the shadows.
Beyond the writings of Caroline Myss, there is a deeper question to consider. When we make ourselves small, what do we say about God, our Creator? If we are Divine expressions of God, how can we possibly belittle and shame ourselves? What does that pattern of self-judgment say about what God has created? How can we be anything but brilliant, radiant energy with the power to create? And there is the “rub”: we do have the power to create, and I, for one, have been choosing to create “small.” I have denied the magnificence of my spiritual identity, and instead, I have chosen to create and recreate a world that reflects my own self belief that I am “less than.” What I believe and choose to see is what I will experience. My powers of creation are that powerful.
Dear spiritual sisters and brothers, let us affirm who we are as God’s Sons and Daughters. As God’s own Creations, how can we not be brilliant? As expressions of Divine Love, we have the power to create again and again. Let us choose to create from the energy of joyful, loving, radiant magnificence! And in that creation, we will affirm our true identities and Source — the Divinity of God. Let us release our self-beliefs in “smallness” and step into the magnificence of who we are! Namaste, my dears :))