Finding Awareness Doesn’t Equal Happily Ever After
For many years, I hungrily devoured the words of spiritual teachers and sought the awareness of consciousness to which their teachings pointed. My goal was to achieve a state of awareness — to experience the truth of who I am. For so long, I sensed the truth of their words and knew they were signposts guiding me on my inner journey, but I couldn’t find my destination. When I was able to open into the truth of my Being and experience the vastness of my consciousness, I have to admit to feeling a sense of achievement. My ego was still alive and well as I inwardly celebrated my progress. I had found what I set out to find! What a spiritual success story I had to tell! But wait… not so fast, runaway ego. There was more, much more to learn.
Knowing God for Yourself
Are you called to read the writings of spiritual teachers? Do you find yourself eagerly pouncing on their newest offerings, hungry for the words that will take you further on your spiritual quest? Do you note the people whom these teachers quote as further sources for your search? These questions capture my quest over a period of many years. I kept searching and searching, moving from one spiritual teacher to another, digging deeper and developing my understanding of their teachings, but always deferring to these teachers to tell me about God and to inform me about the Divine.
Nothing Can Harm the “I Am” That Is Our True Identity
A powerful realization arose within me this week: nothing can hurt my true identity as the spiritual being that I am. Indeed, nothing has ever hurt the “I am” that I am. When I act from the belief that I have been hurt or harmed in any way, I am identifying with ego – with the individual identity I have created in which I perceive myself as separate from you and from everyone else.
A Message of Love to You
Do not measure yourself against the illusions of love propagated by consumerism and marketing campaigns. Most of all, do not view yourself as “less than” those who receive grand gestures and proclamations of special love on this day that marketers use as yet another opportunity to make money in the guise of celebrating love. Rather, see what is truth beyond the glittery trappings and guilt-inducing advertisements of what has become a commercial holiday. You are Love. Period. You are God’s Child, created in Love and as Love. Your worth is not measured in the professions of love by another. Your worth is measured in the truth of your creation and being.
Maintaining the Energy of Love
How do you maintain the positive energy that feels so effortless when you are centred within the love that you are? How do you keep your heartfelt intention to live your life from an inner space of love and peace? Do you find yourself feeling drained and deflated after being out in the world or in the company of certain people?
“You Will Look Upon That Which You Feel Within”
Has anyone else been feeling unsettled and restless? Have you felt unhappy and out of sorts? Since I have returned to work after the holidays, I have experienced a continuous dis-ease within, a dissonant inner hum, if you like. I am out of harmony and off balance, and as I am within, so I see without. My daily experience has confirmed my inner disharmony. Nothing has felt satisfying, and I have been operating in a continual state of “feeling off.”
Releasing Self-Created Stories
It seems that this holiday season is ripe with realizations for me, and it is my prayer that in sharing what I am learning that you will find some clarity and healing too. As the time approaches for celebrating Christmas with family and loved ones, instead of brimming over with anticipation, different emotions seem to be rising within me. Tears flowed again and again as I decorated the tree and as I prepared homemade favourites for my children. Feelings of loneliness and isolation rose within me as I began my two-week break from teaching. Dread and resistance rise within me as I think of time with my parents and siblings. What is there for me to realize and learn from these emotions?
The Gift within the Experience of Emotional Pain During the Holidays
How many of us experience the pain of loss, loneliness, and sadness as the festive season builds all around us? We are flooded with pictures that portray the excitement and anticipation of the perfect Christmas, the perfect family get-togethers, and the perfect holiday season. Each picture projects images of loving families, perfect gifts, and an abundance of happiness and togetherness. And each picture feels like one more stab in the heart of people who are grieving, recovering from traumas that kicked their feet out from under them, or experiencing a seemingly less-than-picture-perfect physical reality.
Prayer of Thanksgiving
Thank you for loving me through it all —
through all the times I thought I could do things my own way;
through all the wrong turns and stubborn choices that I made in spite of my inner guidance;
through my misguided determination to figure things out for myself.
Do I Choose Engagement or Observation?
I always thought that I wanted to engage fully in life and to experience each moment to the fullest. I always believed that it was better to be fully engaged in every experience that life brought me than to be an observer of life. I thought engagement equaled active living and observation equaled passive living, and in my mind, active living was the only choice. I find myself questioning what I always thought and believed.