Tag: inner voice

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Let Your Inner Voice Guide You

    As I look back on my life, it is easy to see where I made choices that resulted in tough lessons. Hindsight is always perfect. All of the clues that foretold the results of my choices were there and available for me to see each and every time. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could have that gift of sight and knowing in the moment when we are making decisions that will affect us so profoundly? This gift isn’t just wishful thinking. We do have this gift of knowing in the moment. It is provided through the guidance of our inner voices. My problem has not been that I didn’t know what I was getting myself into; my problem was that I chose not to listen. It seems that I have had to learn to heed my inner voice the hard way. One of my most profound memories of disregarding […]

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Doing Things the Hard Way (plus podcast)

    My students frequently laugh and joke with me, “Ms. B, you always do things the hard way!” I have to agree with them because if there is a hard way to do something, I will find it. Often, they will ask me if I have thought of doing something another way… an easier way… and I always have to laugh and admit that I hadn’t… until they suggested it. Then, of course, that easier way seems obvious, and I wonder why I didn’t think of it before. This classroom anecdote connects directly to my life, which has been characterized by actions and choices that have frequently taken me on more difficult pathways. The result has been a lot of bumps and bruises, frustrations and heartbreaks, and setbacks and failures. However, the hidden treasure beneath all that emotional pain has been my inner growth. Because of my seeming predisposition to do things the hard way, I have gained […]

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You Are More Than Enough

After years of working on my self-worth and learning to embrace my inner strength, why do I still struggle with going out to social functions on my own? I am worthy in and of myself, right? I am a strong, independent woman, right? Then, why did I agonize about going to a staff function for weeks? Why did I have to push myself to go? It has nothing to do with the people I work with. They are warm, wonderful people. The sticking point for me was that everyone would be bringing their partners, and I would go alone. I enjoy the freedom of being my own person and being able to make my own decisions, but I shrink in the face of couples-dominated situations. Why does all my inner growth and self-confidence shrivel and disappear? Why do tears sneak up and take me by surprise when I try to talk about this […]

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Learning to Set Boundaries

For much of my life, I allowed other people to run over me. When someone asked me to do something, even if I didn’t have the time or desire to do it, I acquiesced and did whatever was asked of me. I gave myself stern talks about learning to say no and standing up for myself. I watched other people say no without the world crashing in around them, and I told myself that I could do it too. I knew the cost of not being able to say no. I knew the sinking feeling in my stomach after I said yes, and I confronted the reality of taking on something I didn’t want to do or that I didn’t have time to do. I would give myself a mental grab by the shoulders, take a deep breath, and find a way to do the thing I had felt compelled […]

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Stand Strong in Your Own Worth

Have you been like me and looked to find your worth reflected back from others? Have you sought approval in the words and actions of others? Have you tried to be what you thought others wanted, believing that your worth was found in what others think of you? It’s a tough place to be, isn’t it, because what you sense from others really has nothing to do with you. It has everything to do with them and what is going on in their lives, how they are feeling, what they are preoccupied with, and a host of other variables, none of which has anything to do with you. Trying to feel good about yourself based on how others respond to you is like trying to keep your footing in shifting sand. If you want to see your worth reflected back at you, look in the mirror and own who you […]

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When in Doubt, Listen to Your Inner Voice

Dread clutched my being in its icy grip,      Silent screams reverberated within me…           beseeching me to listen… to pay attention. But no… I squelched them down, walled them up, tuned them out…       And the pain continued.            I wondered why. When I look back at the most painful times in my life, I realize that I knew before they even happened. I knew what I was getting myself into, and I chose to ignore what I knew. In the weeks leading up to my wedding, I grew more and more tentative. Doubt crept into my thoughts. Sleep evaded me. On my wedding day, a headache twisted screws into my head… tighter and tighter. I attributed it to nerves… pre-wedding jitters. Didn’t everyone have them? When the man I professed would never cheat on me became involved […]

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