Tag: life journey

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Shedding the Need to be a Caregiver and a Fixer

Have you spent your life putting everyone else’s needs before your own? Have you struggled with the idea of putting yourself first? Have you believed that if you love and give of yourself enough, you can heal or fix someone else? Then you and I have shared a similar journey — to learn to overcome the need to “give of ourselves to others” and to learn to look after ourselves. When I look back, I can attribute some of my need to give, “do for”, fix, heal, and “make better” to the generation in which I was born. I am part of the cohort that transitioned from growing up with traditional female role models to forging our own way as independent women. Our mothers and grandmothers devoted their lives to their families. They modelled selfless giving and self-sacrifice as they cared for their families and put their needs first. I realize that part of my […]

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Roadblocks Help Us Find Our Way

How do you view the roadblocks that have appeared in your life? At times, has it seemed that your life journey seems to meet one obstacle after another? There were certainly times in my life when it seemed that no matter which way I turned, I ran into another roadblock. When I look back, I see my roadblocks through a different lens of understanding than I did when I was mired in the muck of frustration and blinded by emotional reactions that ranged from anger and rejection to hurt and despair. Along my road to self-discovery, I have learned that all I need is within me. Prior to realizing this, I spent most of the years of my life seeking love, worth, fulfillment, and happiness outside of me through travelling, partying, relationships, my work, involvement in organizations and groups, and striving to achieve and be the best I could possibly […]

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Stand Strong in Your Own Worth

Have you been like me and looked to find your worth reflected back from others? Have you sought approval in the words and actions of others? Have you tried to be what you thought others wanted, believing that your worth was found in what others think of you? It’s a tough place to be, isn’t it, because what you sense from others really has nothing to do with you. It has everything to do with them and what is going on in their lives, how they are feeling, what they are preoccupied with, and a host of other variables, none of which has anything to do with you. Trying to feel good about yourself based on how others respond to you is like trying to keep your footing in shifting sand. If you want to see your worth reflected back at you, look in the mirror and own who you […]

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Do You Choose Love or Fear?

We have all been hurt. The question is: what do we do with that hurt? Do we close down and erect walls around ourselves? Do we keep our guard up so that people can’t get close to us? Do we shut down so that we don’t get hurt again? Perhaps. When we are hurting, it is natural to withdraw and erect inner barriers to defend against future hurt. But another question arises: can you live fully with a closed heart? I have asked myself that very question. After my divorce, it took me a long time to open up to the possibility of a new relationship. When I did… and it ended… I experienced hurt again. I was tempted to withdraw and keep myself safe, but I realized that I had a choice. I could shut down inside so that no one could hurt me again, or I could stay […]

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When Our Children Leave Home

Where they were…           is only silence and empty space. My life’s focus is gone; Years of giving myself heart and soul… complete. This home,            once vibrant with the energy of their existence…                     rings quiet… And my heart cries out with missing them. I thought I was ready — I even looked forward to the time I would have…            and now that it’s here, all I want to do is go back. I wander through my memories,            pausing here and there to hold them close, to picture them as they were                     when they were mine; But they are no longer mine…           They never were. They came to this world through me,           but they are not mine. They experienced this world through my existence,     […]

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Metamorphose…

…the process of finding and stepping into the fullness and beauty of who you are. “Metamorphose” symbolizes the continuing actions, choices, reflections, and realizations that propel us forward on our life journeys. Finding ourselves isn’t one act or event. It is truly a journey — a continuing series of steps forward… and backward… but always with the intent of illuminating our beautiful inner essence. We don’t always recognize that we are more than our confused, insecure selves; at times, we actively fight against it. But our pure divine essence is there… covered by the muck of our struggles, fears, and beliefs…waiting to be found and embraced. As I look back at my life, I marvel at how seemingly unrelated events and choices… and even all the heartbreaks and dead ends…have all intertwined to create my life. Every single experience in my life has woven itself into the fabric of my […]

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