Tag: life lessons

Who Are Our Greatest Teachers?

When you think of teachers, do you think of people presenting lessons in classrooms and lecture halls? Do you think of those people who helped you understand new concepts and master new skills for success in life? Do you include coaches and instructors beyond the classroom and the world of work? We can all identify the people who have filled these roles in our lives, but do we include those who have inspired or challenged us to grow and deepen within?

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Forgiveness Is More Than a One-Shot Deal

How many times do we need to forgive before there are no more layers of hurt and betrayal to peel back? I can’t give you a definitive answer. It seems trite to say as many times as you need to forgive, but it is true. I have been working on forgiving those with whom I have experienced the greatest hurts for years now, and I’m still not there. I still haven’t reached a place where there is nothing left to forgive… where I can say with complete truth that I hold nothing but love in my heart for them. If I told you that all I ever feel is love when I think of these people, I would be lying to you and to myself. I can tell you that there are times when I genuinely feel compassion, understanding, and love for them, but then when I least expect it… more […]

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Doing Things the Hard Way (plus podcast)

    My students frequently laugh and joke with me, “Ms. B, you always do things the hard way!” I have to agree with them because if there is a hard way to do something, I will find it. Often, they will ask me if I have thought of doing something another way… an easier way… and I always have to laugh and admit that I hadn’t… until they suggested it. Then, of course, that easier way seems obvious, and I wonder why I didn’t think of it before. This classroom anecdote connects directly to my life, which has been characterized by actions and choices that have frequently taken me on more difficult pathways. The result has been a lot of bumps and bruises, frustrations and heartbreaks, and setbacks and failures. However, the hidden treasure beneath all that emotional pain has been my inner growth. Because of my seeming predisposition to do things the hard way, I have gained […]

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Letting Go and Flying Free (podcast)

Forgiveness is the key to your healing and freedom from the hurts of the past. I invite you to listen as I share my blog post, Letting Go and Flying Free. My prayer is that you will find healing through forgiveness as I did.

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You Are More Than Enough

After years of working on my self-worth and learning to embrace my inner strength, why do I still struggle with going out to social functions on my own? I am worthy in and of myself, right? I am a strong, independent woman, right? Then, why did I agonize about going to a staff function for weeks? Why did I have to push myself to go? It has nothing to do with the people I work with. They are warm, wonderful people. The sticking point for me was that everyone would be bringing their partners, and I would go alone. I enjoy the freedom of being my own person and being able to make my own decisions, but I shrink in the face of couples-dominated situations. Why does all my inner growth and self-confidence shrivel and disappear? Why do tears sneak up and take me by surprise when I try to talk about this […]

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Shedding the Need to be a Caregiver and a Fixer

Have you spent your life putting everyone else’s needs before your own? Have you struggled with the idea of putting yourself first? Have you believed that if you love and give of yourself enough, you can heal or fix someone else? Then you and I have shared a similar journey — to learn to overcome the need to “give of ourselves to others” and to learn to look after ourselves. When I look back, I can attribute some of my need to give, “do for”, fix, heal, and “make better” to the generation in which I was born. I am part of the cohort that transitioned from growing up with traditional female role models to forging our own way as independent women. Our mothers and grandmothers devoted their lives to their families. They modelled selfless giving and self-sacrifice as they cared for their families and put their needs first. I realize that part of my […]

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We Experience What We Project

When we feel insecure, we project our insecurities onto the people we interact with. Then we perceive what we expect, which is validation of our insecurities. When we feel unloved or unworthy, that is what we project out into the world. We yearn to be validated and built up, but guess what we experience? We experience rejection, and we feel put-down  and unappreciated. We experience what we expect. I grappled with the statement, “We create our own reality,” for a long time. There was so much heartbreak and emotional pain in my life. Who, in their right mind, would create that experience? The problem was that I wasn’t aware of what I was projecting out into the world. As I struggled with lack of self-worth, I created proof of that through my experiences. I perceived judgment and rejection from others. I perceived that I was less than others. I perceived what wasn’t actually there. […]

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Roadblocks Help Us Find Our Way

How do you view the roadblocks that have appeared in your life? At times, has it seemed that your life journey seems to meet one obstacle after another? There were certainly times in my life when it seemed that no matter which way I turned, I ran into another roadblock. When I look back, I see my roadblocks through a different lens of understanding than I did when I was mired in the muck of frustration and blinded by emotional reactions that ranged from anger and rejection to hurt and despair. Along my road to self-discovery, I have learned that all I need is within me. Prior to realizing this, I spent most of the years of my life seeking love, worth, fulfillment, and happiness outside of me through travelling, partying, relationships, my work, involvement in organizations and groups, and striving to achieve and be the best I could possibly […]

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Should You Stay or Should You Grow?

Do you find yourself in a situation in which you are torn about what to do? You vacillate. One minute you think you know that you have to move forward. The next, you are drawn back to what is known. You aren’t happy or fulfilled in where you are or what you are doing.  You are filled with a sense of yearning for something that has no clear definition but beckons in your awareness. You know where you are. There is a sense of comfort in what is known, but you know it is not all that you desire. You can’t give it words, but something beckons from within… a sense of more that you are meant to do. You are faced with a decision: should you stay or should you grow? Always, always choose growth. I want to share with you my experience of trying to “stuff” that yearning […]

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Who are you… really?

If I ask you this question, would you tell me your name? What if I asked you, “Who are you beyond your name?” Would you tell me what you do for a living? Who are you beyond your job title? Would you tell me that you are a female/male, father/mother/sister/brother, daughter/son, aunt/uncle, cousin, grandparent, friend, colleague? I want you to dig deeper. Who are you beneath labels? Would you respond that you are a person? Who are you as a person? Think more deeply. Who are YOU? You know what you see when you look in the mirror, but you are much more than a body. Wouldn’t you agree? Would you tell me that you are a personality with your own unique characteristics and traits? Would you say that you are a mind because you think your own thoughts? You are getting closer, but you are much more than that. […]

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