Tag: self love

Fear Only Has the Power That We Give It

It seems that I have allowed fear and all of its manifestations — self-doubt, insecurity, self-blame, guilt, self-criticism and judgment — to have far too much power in my life. You see, I believed that fear was something beyond my control; that I was at the mercy of frightening events that could happen to me. I didn’t realize that I was the only one giving fear its power over me. In fact, fear has no power over us, unless we give it.

Self-Creating Emotional Pain

Have you experienced feelings of emotional pain because of what you perceived in someone’s reaction to you? Has this hurt surfaced again and again to monopolize your thoughts and clutch your heart in its tight grip? At a later point, have you realized that you created your own pain and that there was no intention of hurt by that person?

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Discover the Love of Your Life (Podcast)

I welcome you, dear subscribers and visitors to my blog. I have felt called to use my voice to connect with you via the medium of podcasting for some time, and the time has come to launch my first one. This was one of my first blog posts back in December of 2013, and it featured one of the most important lessons of my life. Please let me know what you think in the Comments feature below. I appreciate your feedback.  

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You Are More Than Enough

After years of working on my self-worth and learning to embrace my inner strength, why do I still struggle with going out to social functions on my own? I am worthy in and of myself, right? I am a strong, independent woman, right? Then, why did I agonize about going to a staff function for weeks? Why did I have to push myself to go? It has nothing to do with the people I work with. They are warm, wonderful people. The sticking point for me was that everyone would be bringing their partners, and I would go alone. I enjoy the freedom of being my own person and being able to make my own decisions, but I shrink in the face of couples-dominated situations. Why does all my inner growth and self-confidence shrivel and disappear? Why do tears sneak up and take me by surprise when I try to talk about this […]

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Shedding the Need to be a Caregiver and a Fixer

Have you spent your life putting everyone else’s needs before your own? Have you struggled with the idea of putting yourself first? Have you believed that if you love and give of yourself enough, you can heal or fix someone else? Then you and I have shared a similar journey — to learn to overcome the need to “give of ourselves to others” and to learn to look after ourselves. When I look back, I can attribute some of my need to give, “do for”, fix, heal, and “make better” to the generation in which I was born. I am part of the cohort that transitioned from growing up with traditional female role models to forging our own way as independent women. Our mothers and grandmothers devoted their lives to their families. They modelled selfless giving and self-sacrifice as they cared for their families and put their needs first. I realize that part of my […]

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Do You Feel Like You Don’t Belong?

Do you feel like you are on the outside looking in? Does it seem like everyone else finds their place within the ebb and flow of life, but you just can’t seem to find yours? Do you yearn to find a place where it feels that you fit, but it seems that belonging is a state for everyone else but you? After years of feeling this way, I have come to two realizations which I share with you in the hope that either one or both can be of some assistance and reassurance to you. We feel like we don’t belong when we search for validation of our worth from others and we don’t get it. We want to feel like we are “somebody,” and we look to others to make us feel valued. We try so hard to feel acceptance and recognition of our worth from others. We try to […]

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We Experience What We Project

When we feel insecure, we project our insecurities onto the people we interact with. Then we perceive what we expect, which is validation of our insecurities. When we feel unloved or unworthy, that is what we project out into the world. We yearn to be validated and built up, but guess what we experience? We experience rejection, and we feel put-down  and unappreciated. We experience what we expect. I grappled with the statement, “We create our own reality,” for a long time. There was so much heartbreak and emotional pain in my life. Who, in their right mind, would create that experience? The problem was that I wasn’t aware of what I was projecting out into the world. As I struggled with lack of self-worth, I created proof of that through my experiences. I perceived judgment and rejection from others. I perceived that I was less than others. I perceived what wasn’t actually there. […]

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Stand Strong in Your Own Worth

Have you been like me and looked to find your worth reflected back from others? Have you sought approval in the words and actions of others? Have you tried to be what you thought others wanted, believing that your worth was found in what others think of you? It’s a tough place to be, isn’t it, because what you sense from others really has nothing to do with you. It has everything to do with them and what is going on in their lives, how they are feeling, what they are preoccupied with, and a host of other variables, none of which has anything to do with you. Trying to feel good about yourself based on how others respond to you is like trying to keep your footing in shifting sand. If you want to see your worth reflected back at you, look in the mirror and own who you […]

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Discovering the Love of My Life

Please love me…           I need you… Don’t you see that I love you?           Maybe if I love you more… Maybe I’m not enough…           No, I just have to love you more. Do you think of one special person when you think of the love of your life? Do you imagine what life would be like if only you could find the love of your life? Do you dream of the life you would share, the incredible love you would experience? Do you think that you would be complete if you could just find that special love? You can have that dream because you have the love of your life with you right now… the love of your life is YOU. If you just thought, “Yeah, right,” you are not alone in thinking that. A few […]

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