Tag: self worth

What Happens When We Go Off the Rails?

This question came up in discussion with a dear friend yesterday. We were talking about the issues that still trip us up and cause us to derail from our journey toward truly knowing our own worth and living each moment from that inner knowing. We easily recalled times when we “owned” our worth and allowed the light of our own brilliance to flow. Why couldn’t we maintain that momentum? What happened to cause us to go off the rails and get mired down in old fears and doubts again?

The Freedom of Releasing Control and Learning to Allow

I have made a pact with myself, a pact that is bringing such peace and freedom into my life, that I wonder why it took me so long to accept its importance. My pact is very simple; I release my need to control life and allow life to flow. I have been a “control freak” perfectionist most of my life. Everything had to be done according to my notions of “perfect,” and the one that I was hardest on in this elusive quest for perfection was me. I felt that I needed to take care of every detail so that things were done “right.” That pursuit had a high cost because I demanded 110% of myself for every single thing that I did. I wasn’t content with 90% or even 100%. I had to push myself to give more than was possible or expected so that I could live up […]

Honour Your True Self

When you get an opportunity to have time to yourself, do you struggle with a seemingly endless list of things you think you should be doing? What is there about caring for, and spending time with, ourselves that sends our self-guilt into overdrive? Has our family and social conditioning been so effective that we believe that our first priority always has to be something or someone else? Or, are we avoiding the most important relationship in our lives — the one with ourselves?

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Spring or Winter — Renewal or Death — Love or Fear?

Happy Spring to everyone who lives in the Northern Hemisphere, and especially to anyone who is emerging from the long months of winter to the promise of spring! The warmth of the sun’s rays and the lengthening daylight hours ignite a palpable yearning for the first sightings of new growth and GREEN. We long to throw off the darkness and cold of winter when we retreat from the starkness and seeming death of our environment. At the beginning of winter, I always welcome the cozy “burrowing in” that happens as we retreat to the warmth and light of our homes. It feels good to nestle in, but after several months, that feeling becomes a soul-deep yearning for the life-affirming changes that spring brings. Yesterday, as I enjoyed the intoxicating freshness of the spring winds and the pungent smells of the earth yielding its frozen bonds to the liberating caresses of […]

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Giving Ourselves Away for Love

How many of us have given ourselves away hoping to find love? We give our true selves away in different ways. Sometimes we pretend to be interested in what we believe is important to another person to try to initiate an interaction that will lead to connection and, hopefully, love.  Many times, we pretend to be someone we’re not to attract the attention and heart of another. We sublimate our authentic selves believing that an artificial version will be more attractive. We even give our bodies to another, hoping that love will be returned to us. I look back on the ways in which I gave myself away for love, not with judgment, but with compassion for that lost, insecure person. What I did was fueled by a deep desire to be loved. I believed that if someone loved me, I would be someone. I would be worthy. I believed that the experience I […]

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Sweeping Away the Debris of the Past (including Podcast)

  Have you noticed that just when you think you are making solid forward progress in terms of your personal growth and well-being that you seem to falter, spin your wheels, and even move backward for a time? Just when it seems that you have internalized the positive self-talk and you are stepping into your inner strength and power, the old tapes start playing the familiar refrain of self-doubt and you feel yourself losing your positive momentum. Uncertainty arises, old fears resurface, and you question the progress you thought you were making. I have been considering this over the past few days as I have experienced yet another “spinning of my wheels.” When we experience the same old doubts and fears that we have struggled with for years, I suggest that it is quite normal to question whether real growth has taken place. From a close vantage point, it might seem […]

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Discover the Love of Your Life (Podcast)

I welcome you, dear subscribers and visitors to my blog. I have felt called to use my voice to connect with you via the medium of podcasting for some time, and the time has come to launch my first one. This was one of my first blog posts back in December of 2013, and it featured one of the most important lessons of my life. Please let me know what you think in the Comments feature below. I appreciate your feedback.  

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You Are More Than Enough

After years of working on my self-worth and learning to embrace my inner strength, why do I still struggle with going out to social functions on my own? I am worthy in and of myself, right? I am a strong, independent woman, right? Then, why did I agonize about going to a staff function for weeks? Why did I have to push myself to go? It has nothing to do with the people I work with. They are warm, wonderful people. The sticking point for me was that everyone would be bringing their partners, and I would go alone. I enjoy the freedom of being my own person and being able to make my own decisions, but I shrink in the face of couples-dominated situations. Why does all my inner growth and self-confidence shrivel and disappear? Why do tears sneak up and take me by surprise when I try to talk about this […]

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BE the Change

A gentle man who embodied strength of spirit and loving wisdom said that we must “be the change we wish to see in the world.” Mahatma Gandhi lived these words. His life stands as a testament to their simple, yet profound, truth. What does this famous quotation mean for each of us? How can our lives show that we understand the truth of Gandhi’s words? To be the change we wish to see in the world, we need to go further than wishful thinking. Identifying what needs changing in the world is not enough. We need to be the agents of change… each of us in our own way… in our own lives… with the people we interact with and the work that we do. We must go beyond wishing that things were different. We must each decide to be the living embodiment of the change that we wish to see […]

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Learning to Set Boundaries

For much of my life, I allowed other people to run over me. When someone asked me to do something, even if I didn’t have the time or desire to do it, I acquiesced and did whatever was asked of me. I gave myself stern talks about learning to say no and standing up for myself. I watched other people say no without the world crashing in around them, and I told myself that I could do it too. I knew the cost of not being able to say no. I knew the sinking feeling in my stomach after I said yes, and I confronted the reality of taking on something I didn’t want to do or that I didn’t have time to do. I would give myself a mental grab by the shoulders, take a deep breath, and find a way to do the thing I had felt compelled […]

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