Tag: Universe

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Learning to Set Boundaries

For much of my life, I allowed other people to run over me. When someone asked me to do something, even if I didn’t have the time or desire to do it, I acquiesced and did whatever was asked of me. I gave myself stern talks about learning to say no and standing up for myself. I watched other people say no without the world crashing in around them, and I told myself that I could do it too. I knew the cost of not being able to say no. I knew the sinking feeling in my stomach after I said yes, and I confronted the reality of taking on something I didn’t want to do or that I didn’t have time to do. I would give myself a mental grab by the shoulders, take a deep breath, and find a way to do the thing I had felt compelled […]

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Shedding the Need to be a Caregiver and a Fixer

Have you spent your life putting everyone else’s needs before your own? Have you struggled with the idea of putting yourself first? Have you believed that if you love and give of yourself enough, you can heal or fix someone else? Then you and I have shared a similar journey — to learn to overcome the need to “give of ourselves to others” and to learn to look after ourselves. When I look back, I can attribute some of my need to give, “do for”, fix, heal, and “make better” to the generation in which I was born. I am part of the cohort that transitioned from growing up with traditional female role models to forging our own way as independent women. Our mothers and grandmothers devoted their lives to their families. They modelled selfless giving and self-sacrifice as they cared for their families and put their needs first. I realize that part of my […]

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We Are Not Our Bodies

When we look at one another as bodies, we create separation. It seems fairly obvious, doesn’t it? I look different from  you, and you look different from the next person. We all look different. Therefore, we must be different, right? Wrong. This is where humanity stalls and sets up walls that create division between people. Seeing one another as different is a choice that we make. I didn’t realize that I had a choice for a good part of my life. I had been conditioned to see myself as an individual in a world of billions of other individuals. I learned at an early age that it would take hard work, effort, and perseverance to achieve success in this world. Achieving success would mean attaining what I wanted through competition. I had to work harder and be better than the others who wanted the positions that I sought. Reaching my goals would mean that […]

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Stand Strong in Your Own Worth

Have you been like me and looked to find your worth reflected back from others? Have you sought approval in the words and actions of others? Have you tried to be what you thought others wanted, believing that your worth was found in what others think of you? It’s a tough place to be, isn’t it, because what you sense from others really has nothing to do with you. It has everything to do with them and what is going on in their lives, how they are feeling, what they are preoccupied with, and a host of other variables, none of which has anything to do with you. Trying to feel good about yourself based on how others respond to you is like trying to keep your footing in shifting sand. If you want to see your worth reflected back at you, look in the mirror and own who you […]

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Never Alone

Do you ever feel alone? Do you sometimes feel like it’s you against the world? I want to share something that I have realized —  I can choose to feel lonely, but I am never alone. If I feel alone, it is because I choose to ignore who I really am. When we see ourselves as separate and alone, we are forgetting who we really are. We are seeing ourselves as physical beings… as bodies. It seems logical. My physical body is separate from your physical body; therefore, the “I” that I am must be separate from the “you” that you are. If I am separate from you, I am separate from everyone, and that means that I am on my own in this world… as are you… and everyone else. I don’t know about you, but that can be an overwhelming thought… … until I remember who I really […]

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When in Doubt, Listen to Your Inner Voice

Dread clutched my being in its icy grip,      Silent screams reverberated within me…           beseeching me to listen… to pay attention. But no… I squelched them down, walled them up, tuned them out…       And the pain continued.            I wondered why. When I look back at the most painful times in my life, I realize that I knew before they even happened. I knew what I was getting myself into, and I chose to ignore what I knew. In the weeks leading up to my wedding, I grew more and more tentative. Doubt crept into my thoughts. Sleep evaded me. On my wedding day, a headache twisted screws into my head… tighter and tighter. I attributed it to nerves… pre-wedding jitters. Didn’t everyone have them? When the man I professed would never cheat on me became involved […]

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