Finding Awareness Doesn’t Equal Happily Ever After
For many years, I hungrily devoured the words of spiritual teachers and sought the awareness of consciousness to which their teachings pointed. My goal was to achieve a state of awareness — to experience the truth of who I am. For so long, I sensed the truth of their words and knew they were signposts guiding me on my inner journey, but I couldn’t find my destination. When I was able to open into the truth of my Being and experience the vastness of my consciousness, I have to admit to feeling a sense of achievement. My ego was still alive and well as I inwardly celebrated my progress. I had found what I set out to find! What a spiritual success story I had to tell! But wait… not so fast, runaway ego. There was more, much more to learn.
Who Are Our Greatest Teachers?
When you think of teachers, do you think of people presenting lessons in classrooms and lecture halls? Do you think of those people who helped you understand new concepts and master new skills for success in life? Do you include coaches and instructors beyond the classroom and the world of work? We can all identify the people who have filled these roles in our lives, but do we include those who have inspired or challenged us to grow and deepen within?
Why Do We Make Ourselves Small?
This is a question that I frequently ponder because it is certainly my tendency to default to making myself small instead of allowing myself to shine. I’m not talking about going on an ego trip and demanding the attention and admiration of others. I’m talking about my recurring insistence on making myself less than I am, my habit of shrinking in the face of appreciation and opportunity. Do you minimize or try to deflect any recognition of your brilliance from others? Do you yearn for opportunities to stretch yourself and then retreat when they present themselves?
My Call to Release My Inner Critic
Are you hard on yourself? Are you your own worst critic? I certainly have been my whole life, and it seems that my body is sending me a strong message that constant self-criticism has not only been hard on my self-esteem; it has taken a toll on my physical health.
Another Lesson Presents Itself in My Life
In spite of the spiritual growth and deepening awareness I share with you week after week, it was interesting to observe how quickly I fell into the clutches of fear when I received unexpected news last night. In previous posts, I have shared with you my experiences with swollen joints and the message to forgive and release past emotional pain that I believed my body was telling me. Swollen, painful joints have continued to challenge me, and I have kept working on forgiveness, innately knowing that suppressed pain and anger were causing the inflammation in my joints. Yesterday, I received a call from my doctor to see her after school regarding test results. Within the space of four words, my day turned upside-down, and the light-hearted, open me began to constrict and tighten inside. “You had rheumatoid arthritis.” The laughter and easy conversation stopped, as images of worst-case scenarios flooded my […]
Fear Only Has the Power That We Give It
It seems that I have allowed fear and all of its manifestations — self-doubt, insecurity, self-blame, guilt, self-criticism and judgment — to have far too much power in my life. You see, I believed that fear was something beyond my control; that I was at the mercy of frightening events that could happen to me. I didn’t realize that I was the only one giving fear its power over me. In fact, fear has no power over us, unless we give it.
Deflecting Our Truth
How often do we ignore our inner guidance because we believe that we know better? When do we create chaos in our lives to avoid what we intuitively know that we are being guided to do? How often do we deflect what we know to be truth that is guiding us from within and waiting for us to listen? Why can’t we trust that our inner guidance is for our highest good?
Self-Creating Emotional Pain
Have you experienced feelings of emotional pain because of what you perceived in someone’s reaction to you? Has this hurt surfaced again and again to monopolize your thoughts and clutch your heart in its tight grip? At a later point, have you realized that you created your own pain and that there was no intention of hurt by that person?
Only We, Ourselves, Can Make Life Better for Us
Have you ever believed that someone else could make your life better for you — that somehow, in some way, attaching your life to someone else was the secret to a full and happy life? Have you imagined your “dream come true” or your “life happily ever after” because being with someone else was going to make it better? I certainly did… three times. And three times, I had to restart and find healing and my way forward on my own. I think I have finally realized the lesson. First of all, I attached my dreams for my happy future to a man whom I met while I attended the University of Sydney in Australia. He was my first love, and when my year of studies was done and I had to return to Canada, I focused all my energies on working and earning enough money to return to Australia […]
Learning to be Present and to Receive
Yesterday, I had the opportunity to practise my deeper understanding of awareness in a profound way. Over the past few years, I have grown used to doing things for myself and to be proud of my independence. In fact, I have embraced my independence so much that it is hard for me to ask anyone for help. I know that one of the lessons I still have to learn is how to receive… gracefully and openly. Giving is so natural for me, but it has become more and more apparent that I need to practise receiving. What happened yesterday that links my need to learn how to receive with my deepening awareness of who I am beyond the rise and fall of emotions, thoughts, and sensory input? I had to have a growth removed surgically from within my foot. In my “proud-to-be-independent” mind, I told myself that I could handle […]