Finding Awareness Doesn’t Equal Happily Ever After
For many years, I hungrily devoured the words of spiritual teachers and sought the awareness of consciousness to which their teachings pointed. My goal was to achieve a state of awareness — to experience the truth of who I am. For so long, I sensed the truth of their words and knew they were signposts guiding me on my inner journey, but I couldn’t find my destination. When I was able to open into the truth of my Being and experience the vastness of my consciousness, I have to admit to feeling a sense of achievement. My ego was still alive and well as I inwardly celebrated my progress. I had found what I set out to find! What a spiritual success story I had to tell! But wait… not so fast, runaway ego. There was more, much more to learn.
You Are More Than Enough — You Are Magnificent!
Do you struggle with feeling that you are enough? Do you find yourself questioning your worth and the success of your life time and time again? What IS that measuring stick against which we compare ourselves and imagine that we come up short or that we are lacking in some way? How do we find and hold on to true knowing of our worth?
Another Lesson Presents Itself in My Life
In spite of the spiritual growth and deepening awareness I share with you week after week, it was interesting to observe how quickly I fell into the clutches of fear when I received unexpected news last night. In previous posts, I have shared with you my experiences with swollen joints and the message to forgive and release past emotional pain that I believed my body was telling me. Swollen, painful joints have continued to challenge me, and I have kept working on forgiveness, innately knowing that suppressed pain and anger were causing the inflammation in my joints. Yesterday, I received a call from my doctor to see her after school regarding test results. Within the space of four words, my day turned upside-down, and the light-hearted, open me began to constrict and tighten inside. “You had rheumatoid arthritis.” The laughter and easy conversation stopped, as images of worst-case scenarios flooded my […]
Unconditional Love and Forgiveness
I often use stream-of-consciousness writing to find illumination when I am experiencing internal struggle. I want to share the wisdom that came through in my writing today.
Dear Beloved, talk to me about unconditional love and forgiveness.
A Message of Love to You
Do not measure yourself against the illusions of love propagated by consumerism and marketing campaigns. Most of all, do not view yourself as “less than” those who receive grand gestures and proclamations of special love on this day that marketers use as yet another opportunity to make money in the guise of celebrating love. Rather, see what is truth beyond the glittery trappings and guilt-inducing advertisements of what has become a commercial holiday. You are Love. Period. You are God’s Child, created in Love and as Love. Your worth is not measured in the professions of love by another. Your worth is measured in the truth of your creation and being.
“You Will Look Upon That Which You Feel Within”
Has anyone else been feeling unsettled and restless? Have you felt unhappy and out of sorts? Since I have returned to work after the holidays, I have experienced a continuous dis-ease within, a dissonant inner hum, if you like. I am out of harmony and off balance, and as I am within, so I see without. My daily experience has confirmed my inner disharmony. Nothing has felt satisfying, and I have been operating in a continual state of “feeling off.”
New Year’s Resolutions with a Twist
I would like to propose a new kind of resolution as we begin the new year — resolutions that have none of the guilt that most of our pledges arise from after the weeks of excess during the holiday season. We feel guilty about all the rich food that we have eaten, our lack of exercise and physical activity, all the liquid Christmas cheer that we have imbibed, and all the money that we have spent. Our guilt inspires impassioned vows to exercise regularly, to eat a healthy diet, to detox our bodies, to live within a budget, to pay off our credit cards… to make any number of surface changes that we hope will make us feel better about ourselves.
Releasing Self-Created Stories
It seems that this holiday season is ripe with realizations for me, and it is my prayer that in sharing what I am learning that you will find some clarity and healing too. As the time approaches for celebrating Christmas with family and loved ones, instead of brimming over with anticipation, different emotions seem to be rising within me. Tears flowed again and again as I decorated the tree and as I prepared homemade favourites for my children. Feelings of loneliness and isolation rose within me as I began my two-week break from teaching. Dread and resistance rise within me as I think of time with my parents and siblings. What is there for me to realize and learn from these emotions?
The Gift within the Experience of Emotional Pain During the Holidays
How many of us experience the pain of loss, loneliness, and sadness as the festive season builds all around us? We are flooded with pictures that portray the excitement and anticipation of the perfect Christmas, the perfect family get-togethers, and the perfect holiday season. Each picture projects images of loving families, perfect gifts, and an abundance of happiness and togetherness. And each picture feels like one more stab in the heart of people who are grieving, recovering from traumas that kicked their feet out from under them, or experiencing a seemingly less-than-picture-perfect physical reality.
Profound Inner Guidance
New responsibilities in my position at work are challenging my fears and insecurities and bringing me face-to-face with more inner work that I need to do. You see, the classroom is my comfort zone, and it is there with my students that I feel secure in the community that we create together and confident in the learning opportunities that I create and present for them. My new responsibilities take me beyond the classroom and involve planning and presenting professional development for my colleagues. Suddenly, the confident, competent teacher falls prey to anxiety that confronts her at every turn — anxiety that plays constant messages of self-doubt and perceived judgment. My old nemesis is back — fear of knowing and embracing my own worth. What learning is there in this for me? As my mind filled with anxious rehashing of what had happened prior to and during my first presentation to staff, I received a clear, direct soul message that told me exactly what I need to do.